Messy business

So, I have been a bit remiss in keeping up-to-date. Several changes have occurred in our lives. We moved (a biggie!) and Peach and Mr. Snuggles have started a new preschool/daycare. The professional work part of life for my husband and me has stayed the same. (So, only the youngest two in our family who understand the least why things change in life (often for the better) have changed homes and schools -- eeek! I guess they will be accustomed to change as they get older). Moving, as everyone knows is messy. It is either messy at the point of departure or messy at the point of arrival and sometimes it is messy both places. We had the most "messy" at the point of arrival. You see, the previous owners of our new home did not clean their home. Not on a regular basis, nor at the point of their departure. I will spare the details but let's just say there were several runs to our local (oh what am I saying, national) super store for various cleaning supplies. It is still not as clean as I want it but back to work we went. It has brought up for me feelings I have about keeping house. On my good days I am not very hard on myself and I just recognize that when both partners work full time in demanding jobs and have no maid, the house is allowed to be a little unkempt. It is OK. On my not so good days, I feel incredibly guilty and really just yucky that I haven't dusted, vacuumed, straightened, deep-cleaned, organized, etc. It is not really the guilt that gets the best of me. It is the deep desire to dust, vacuum, straighten, deep-clean and organize that gets me. When I was single, I cleaned my apartment every Friday evening or Saturday morning without fail. I loved waking up to a clean home, ready to entertain others or just myself. It was my "clean slate" feeling kind of like the feeling you have when starting a new year or semester in school. Everything is as fresh as new notebooks and unsharpened pencils. Yes, I loved that feeling. But as I recall, those evenings and afternoons after said deep-clean, I would always be wishing and hoping for a date that would lead to another date and then a richer life with a partner and children than the creamy ice cream I would be eating for dessert. So, I suppose when all is said and done, I would rather have the mess of children and a loved home than no mess at all.