Overwhelmed

I used to get overwhelmed on Sunday nights. I had anticipatory anxiety about the next school day, what would my teachers ask me to do, what awkward social circumstances would I find myself in, would I get to class on time, you know...what every kid faces probably. Now, I get overwhelmed on Monday mornings. I look at my Inbox of professional work emails realizing how so very far behind I am. I look to my right and see a stack of papers that really need to be sorted, organized or "worked on." Then, I take a break and look at my Inbox of personal emails and feel guilty for not responding to a friend who announced her long-awaited and tried-for pregnancy. I then visit dear friends' blogs feeling guilty that I haven't posted pictures of my sweet children in months. I read of endearing moments with daughters and sons and wish I had the time and energy to write of my own endearing moments with my daughter and son. Sadness creeps in, jealousy peeks from around the corner and then resolve comes in view. Sadness and jealously and guilt certainly have their places ("every emotion is OK" the psychologist mother in me screams) but they only get you so far. So, I trudge on to use those as motivation to make some kind of change. Just not sure what yet.